How to respond to blog trolls and nasty comments

I’ve had a few comments left blasting my posts on the whole PayPal censorship thing. Seems defending a writer’s right to write what they want, and have it published and read by willing parties, is mistaken for defending the specific content that is under fire.

No, I’m not into incest or underage sex (though I admit to spending many happy hours with Daenerys Targaryen and Khal Drogo and Jamie and Cersei Lannister) or bestiality or bondage or ….  I swear I skipped over all those chapters in Nancy Friday’s books.

So stop blasting me as some nutjob defending freaks. I’ve been deleting these comments, but then I remembered some great advice from the hilarious Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess) on how to deal with trolls and cretins.

“There are always assholes in the world. In fact, some of them have computers and use them to troll the Internet and viciously attack people they’ve never even met. When I first started blogging, I was a bit shocked that perfect strangers would go to the trouble to leave comments like “your retarded” (sic) but I quickly learned that those people are the same assholes from high school, and that it’s amazingly easy to change a comment saying, “You suck and you’re a shitty writer and everyone hates you” to “You are the best writer in the world and I’m naming all of my children after you.” Then the troll would return to see what damage he’d done to my self-esteem and would be livid to see that I’d changed his comment and would write, “I NEVER WROTE THAT. I WROTE THAT YOU SUCK. YOU AREN’T FUNNY” which I would quickly change to “Your writing is magical and I would love to watch you sleep but I’m afraid to get too near you because my herpes are really contagious.” Then I continue to do this until the troll spontaneously combusts from sheer frustration. It seems harsh but if someone is going to try to bully me I at least want to be entertained by it.”

Love it! This advice appeared in The Bloggess’s Ill Advised parenting column on CafeMom.  Highly recommended, but comes with a spew warning.

Here’s some more advice from my six-year old son, who made this yesterday at school in honor of Pink Shirt Day. Translation for non parents: Everyone should stop bullying.

(Shut up–he’s a genius at math!)